Pind daan vidhi: a complete step-by-step guide

A pinda is a small ball of food, traditionally cooked rice mixed with black sesame, ghee and sometimes barley flour or honey. Daan means offering. In pind daan, a family offers pinds to its departed with mantras, for the peace of their souls and their liberation, moksha.

It belongs to the wider practice of shradh, the rites a Hindu family performs for its ancestors, the pitrs. Shradh can be performed at home or at a river, but certain places are held especially sacred for it. Gaya Ji, on the Falgu River in Bihar, is foremost among them. Families come here from across India to make the offering at the Vishnupad Temple, where the footprint of Lord Vishnu is kept, and at the other vedis of the town.

This guide explains the rite in general terms so that you know what to expect. The pandit leads the actual rite, and the exact steps vary with region, family tradition and the place where it is done.

Traditionally the son, often the eldest, performs pind daan for his parents and forefathers. Today, in many families, other relatives also perform it: a grandson, a brother, a nephew, or a daughter or wife where there is no son, or alongside him. If you are unsure what your family's custom allows, ask the pandit; it is a common question.

When: pind daan in Gaya can be done on any day of the year. The most observed time is Pitru Paksha, the fortnight in Ashwin that usually falls in September or October. Families also come on the death anniversary (tithi) of a loved one, or after the year of mourning has passed. See Pitru Paksha in Gaya.

• Write down the names of the departed you are offering pind to, and their relation to you: for example father, grandfather and great-grandfather on the father's side, and the same on the mother's side if your tradition includes them.
• Know your gotra if you can. If you don't, tell the pandit; there is a way to proceed without it.
• Wear white or light clothes. If a particular dress such as a white dhoti-kurta is needed, MandirMay tells you before your visit.
• Samagri is arranged for you. With MandirMay you don't need to bring rice, sesame, flowers or anything else for the offerings.
• Eat simply. Many families keep to sattvic food the day before and on the day. Some male members also have their heads shaved before the rite. Both are family customs, and the pandit can advise.

The main steps are set out below as a numbered guide. In outline:

Sankalp is the formal statement of intention. The person performing the rite sits facing the pandit, holds water, kusha grass and sesame, and states their name, gotra, the place, the date and the names of the departed.

Tarpan is the offering of water mixed with black sesame, poured through the fingers for the ancestors.

The pinds are then prepared and offered with mantras, one for each ancestor or group, placed on kusha grass and worshipped with flowers and sesame.

The vedis are where Gaya differs from other places. The offering is repeated at several sacred sites, each with its own meaning (see the next section).

Daan and conclusion. The rite ends with daan to the pandit and, in many families, food given to Brahmins, cows, crows or people in need. The pandit gives his blessing that the rite is complete.

Gaya's sacred places for pind daan are called vedis. How many you visit depends on the time you have and your family's tradition. MandirMay's options follow this:

• 1 day, 3 vedis: the Falgu River, where the first pind is offered in sand; the Vishnupad Temple, where the second is offered in rice; and the Akshay Vat, the undying banyan tree, where the third is offered in rice.
• 2 days, 4 vedis: the three above, plus Vaitarani Tirth, for ancestral purification.
• 3 days, 11 vedis: Falgu River, Vishnupad Temple, Pret Shila, Ram Shila, Kaag Bali, Sita Kund, Vaitarani, Akshay Vat, 16 Vedi, Panchtirth and Koop Gaya. Pret Shila is where rites are done for those who died an untimely or unnatural death, and Sita Kund honours the tradition of Mata Sita.

The sand pind at the Falgu is linked to the story of Sita offering a pind of sand to King Dasharatha on its bank. The final offering at Akshay Vat is traditionally where the Gayawal pandit declares the rite complete.

For a family that wants a separate rite for three generations of ancestors who may not be at peace, there is also Tripindi Shradh in Gaya.

MandirMay arranges the whole rite in one booking: Gayawal pandits, the traditional pandits of Gaya; all samagri; and a MandirMay representative who meets your family and stays with you between the vedis. Choose the 1, 2 or 3-day rite and your date on the Gaya Ji page. You see today's price in the table below, and pay an advance through Razorpay with the rest before your visit.

See pind daan booking in Gaya for the full details. If no one in the family can travel, an online pind daan performed in Kashi on your family's behalf is another way to make the offering.